Change, change, change

This week has been a bit of a whirlwind for our family. Over the past two weeks, Scott has been applying for any job he can find in the state of Utah. His current job has steadily gotten worse and worse. The best way I know to describe it is to say that if there was such a thing as working for a soul-sucking dementor from Harry Potter—well, Icon is pretty close.

Both Scott and I have been praying and pleading for him to find a new job so that we can adequately provide for our family and help Scott get started in his chosen career.  He will graduate in May, but his final semester consists of three classes: one online and two distance education. We designed it that way on purpose so that he could potentially get an internship for next semester.

Well, he didn’t get an internship. He was blessed with a job!

On Tuesday night I came home from teaching a YW lesson (on sister missionary work, I may or may not post it sometime soon), to find him…smiling? What is this? He said that the guy from one of the jobs he’d applied for had called while I was gone and they talked for like 30 minutes and he had an interview in Salt Lake the next day (he was already going down for a different job interview). On Wednesday, he had a great interview (good thing Scotty knows his Aggie sports) and before Scott had even gotten a chance to drive back into Cache Valley, he had the job!

I haven’t seen him smile so much in…well…years. The happiness in his voice is contagious (well, at least it was until he realized he’d only been going on three hours of sleep and finally got grumpy around ten pm last night). I am so happy for him and for what this means for our family. 

But there is part of me that is having a meltdown.  For the past 24 hours I have been analyzing this move and putting different blessings into two categories: the “bitter” and the “sweet.”

Bitter: I have to move to the Salt Lake Valley. I have never wanted to live there. In fact, if there was one place on earth I never wanted to live (other than Waco, TX, I never wanted to serve there either…for no particular reason, I just didn’t want to go to Waco) it is the Salt Lake Valley.

Sweet: Salt Lake isn’t as far as...well…Texas, where we hope to end up someday. I’m sure Kevin’s grandparents aren’t quite ready for us to take her that far away, and when I admit it to myself: neither am I.

Bitter: I am more than slightly afraid that the panic/anxiety attacks of my childhood (that stemmed from a move to the Salt Lake Valley when I was nine) will come back.

Sweet: Perfect excuse to find a new OBGYN, since I didn’t like my last one and the one I wanted to switch to was part of the same practice. (There’s your TMI for the week).

Bitter: Leaving Cache Valley. I am not stupid. I know that there is only a very slim chance I will ever live in my valley again. I am 25 years old and finally leaving home for good…and I am sad at the thought.

Bitter: We have to find a new place to move.

Sweet: the new place better have bigger closets and a second bathroom. Eventually we would like to have more children and there is no way I am sharing a bathroom with my husband through another pregnancy!

Bitter: We have to move. We have three times as much stuff as we did when we moved into this apartment 18 months ago. Yuck.

Sweet: Now I don’t have to worry about finding a place here for all of Kevin’s outgrown baby stuff.

Bitter: I have to clean up our apartment and keep it clean so that our landlords can start showing it. Note: it has been a wonderful place to live, but be warned, if you move in, you will most likely get pregnant with a beautiful little girl. That’s the magic history of the apartment.

Sweet: We can still have Kevin’s first Christmas in her first home.

Bitter: I have an abnormal fear of driving in Salt Lake. Six-lane freeways in Texas? No problem. Utah Freeways and Downtown Salt Lake?  No thank you, I’ll walk.

Sweet: We’ll need to get a new car. I’ve never gotten to go car shopping before. I am not sure this is a “sweet” thing, but I’ve never gotten to buy a car just for me to drive before. Note: It will not be a mini-van. At least not at this point in time!

Bitter: Not being around to help my family. Not having Auntie Liz babysit on Tuesday afternoons when I need a nap. Not being able to go out my parent’s house on nights when Scott has school until 10:30. Not being able to go to Flan’s basketball games. Not being able to go to Aggie basketball games.

Sweet: Now, when we go visit my parents, it will be for a couple of days instead of a couple of hours.

Bitter: Being in the same valley as most of Scott’s family.

Just kidding!

Sweet: Being in the same valley as most of Scott’s family and not having to miss out on Fowler Family FHE anymore!

Sweet: Being close enough to get to know my nieces and nephews better and help out my sister-in-laws when needed.

Sweet: Three words: Target. Chipotle. Zupas.  

Sweet: Winco. Gummy Butterflies.

Sweet: A pay raise!

Sweet: Graduation without the worries of finding a big boy job!

Sweet: A change of scenery.

Sweet: Having a husband who is happy.

Sweet: Knowing we are exactly where Heavenly Father needs us to be.