A Complaint

Complaining.

We all do it. We all want to do it. Sometimes we hold it in. Sometimes that only makes us complain more when we finally burst. Thanks to social media and an overly emotion-friendly society that thrives on social media, we probably all do it a little too often.

But here is what my most recent {difficult} pregnancy has taught me.

Sometimes complaining just makes you sound silly.

It is not often in my life that I have to sit in the "wo is me" chair--usually I have things pretty good and usually I am enough of a person to recognize that (though sometimes not). Right now, I am parked in that miserable chair. Want to hear about how bad I have it? Call me anytime. Then call my husband and tell him thank you for putting up with me (because whatever I told you, I probably have said five+ times to him).

Sometime this past week, a very pregnant acquaintance of mine complained that she was now 36 weeks along and the doctors told her at 30 weeks that she'd be having her baby by 32 weeks. I understand that she is miserable. I know that gestational diabetes and being huge and uncomfortable is absolutely NO FUN (trust me, I've been doing the GB diet since 7-8 weeks and most women don't have to start it until 20-22 weeks). But, as I sat there reading her posts and thinking about my own past, I couldn't help thinking that her complaint was a blessing I am spending a significant portion of every day hoping and praying and working for. 36 weeks...I just want to make it to 36 weeks. Anything beyond that will be a bonus--maybe an uncomfortable and painful bonus, but a bonus nonetheless.

Have you every heard the saying "One man's junk is another man's treasure?" I've discovered lately that one woman's complaint is another's counted blessing.

Sometimes it makes me upset when I see people complaining about things I would love to have (or have more of)--half a dozen children, graduate school opportunities, vacations, money, nice new home projects, a newborn who doesn't sleep but gets to come home within two days of being born, sore muscles after a marathon-training run, too much rain, too much heat, too much to do, a cool job...the list goes on.

How does a single person feel when somebody complains that her husband and children never replace the toilet paper?

How does an unemployed person feel when somebody complains about working overtime?

How does a person suffering from infertility feel when someone complains about having two babies under the age of 18 months?

How does a pregnant woman who just can't gain weight feel when you complain about gaining too much (though still a healthy weight) in your pregnancy?

My point of this post is not to tell people to stop complaining. That doesn't usually work. Then they just get moody and eat chocolate that you can't have in front of you. Sometimes complaining is necessary. We'd burst without it.

But here's a little trick I learned from my mother that might help (Moms are so helpful, aren't they? They have the best ideas.) Sometimes, the things that drive you most nuts about life can also be turned into the things you appreciate most about life.

For many of my growing up years, my mother taught preschool out of our basement. I was often home when her classes ended in the afternoon and I would hear her complain sometimes about certain things that drove her nuts--a parent who was always early, another who was always late, a child who just couldn't listen because they had so many stories to tell, a child who never stopped singing, a child with too much energy, etc. She didn't usually name names, but having helped in her classroom often enough, I usually knew who she was talking about.

Here is the amazing part of this though. Every May, when preschool graduation rolled around, my mom would recognize each child and talk about something she remembered or a talent she appreciated. And usually the things she talked about were the very things she complained about during the year.

"So and so was always on time for class."
"So and so was always so patient waiting for his mom to come get him."
"So and so tells wonderful stories."
"So and so has a beautiful singing voice and loves to share it with others."
"So and so is always energetic and happy."

In a nutshell, my mom found a way to turn their weaknesses into strengths, and in the process, it turned her complaints into her blessings. Was she lying when she said she admired these traits? Absolutely not. She meant everything she said about their talents. (I am a skeptic. I watched and listened carefully. You can trust me on this.)

One of my favorite (and one of the most quoted) scriptures from the Book of Mormon shows the Savior saying to us:

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble, and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. (Ether 12:27)

We are all given weaknesses (even if your weakness may be not recognizing your weaknesses). For some of us, those weaknesses are more visible than another person's may be. But I believe the Savior 110% when He tells us that His grace is enough to make up for those weaknesses--if we humble ourselves enough to recognize them.

What complaints do you have that could be counted as a blessing today?