A few thoughts regarding this holiday

You know what is nice about being married to your best friend?

Everything.

I think we've finally got this holiday thing figured out. Very few disappointments anymore (and probably more on his end than on mine). The first year was rough, but now that we're in our fourth year of marriage, we are starting to figure things out.

Partly, this is because I finally figured out my wants to make a great holiday, and now all he has to do is follow a simple checklist.

I want:
1. A night out (doesn't have to be on the actual holiday...in fact, we've never gone out on our V-Day date on the 14th of February, but we have gone on a special date every year)
2. Some flowers (yellow or roses or yellow roses=a bonus)
3. A love letter
4. A surprise

To me, it seems like a lot because it is a lot. I'm still trying to figure out what he wants. So far I think it is something along these lines:

1. A simple date night
2. A thoughtful little something
3. Gratitude (even when this comes in the form of me running down the stairs to catch him before he goes to work, bedhead in full swing, and throwing my arms around him to give him a big hug before he is out the door)
4. (This is the one I just figured out this morning) We were sitting on the couch, sneaking in a few cuddles before he had to go and I said something about "I'm sorry I don't have anything to surprise you this morning" and he held me tight and said, "Rinda, just let me spoil you." Okay, done. So I guess that makes number #4 something along the lines of "let me go above and beyond and outdo you on the gift-giving sometimes."

I love being married to my best friend. I realize how spoiled I am because of that. I wish everybody could have a best friend. I know not everybody has that. But everybody has somebody who loves them, even when it is hard to recognize.

This past week the women's organization in my church congregation got together and had a little lesson on love languages. I was asked to talk about "quality time" which is the language that Scott and I share (we are both bilingual, I also receive love in the form of acts of service and he recognizes love in the form of physical touch). In addition to being our love language, quality time is our "destress" language. I know lots of couples do better when they have some time away from each other--we are the opposite of that. If we don't get enough time together we start to fall apart. This is why sometimes, even though he has a full load of homework and would like to go to the gym, he stays home and watches Austenland with me because he knows I have had a beyond difficult day.

I often wonder what I will say when Kevin gets old enough to ask me those questions everyone runs into at some point in his/her life: What is love? How do you know when you are in love? What if you love someone, but you don't love them like that? How can people do mean things to the people they love? Why did Heavenly Father send us here just to have our hearts broken?

In all likelihood, I will tell her my main answer to all these things: I'm not sure I know.

But I do know this: Love sometimes means letting go. Love sometimes means you have to wait. Love sometimes means you will get you heart broken, and love always means you have to learn to forgive. Love isn't always romantic. Love isn't always perfect and it definitely isn't always a fairy tale. Love sometimes means having the courage to speak up and stand up and disagree. Love sometimes means protecting someone from themselves, but it can also mean being willing to let them make mistakes and love them through it. Love is something it takes a moment to feel and a lifetime to learn.