Scholarship

A few weeks ago, I was contacted by the English department at my alma mater. They were seeking a "where are you now?" follow-up on me so that they could pass it along to the sponsor of a scholarship I received during my university education.

I had been contacted once before, as a follow-up to a different scholarship I had been awarded earlier in my college career. Ashamed that I had nothing significant to report, I selfishly and cowardishly never responded. Still carrying the guilt of that decision, I determined that this time I would reply to the email.

I still had nothing significant to report. In the past six years since I graduated with my two BS degrees, I haven't had a job. I haven't been published. I haven't written anything on a consistent basis, and even the few times I sat down and wrote something that I intended to share with the world, the documents never made it past being saved on my hard drive.

For a day or two, I mulled over what I could say, and then I forgot all about the assignment until I was contacted a second time with a reminder that they still hadn't heard from me. This time I immediately sat down and typed out a reply.

I was surprised in the words that came, because they were an awakening for me.

Dear Mr. Smith,

I was a recipient of the Ralph Jennings Smith Scholarship during my last year at Utah State University. The scholarship blessed my life in many ways, as it allowed me to finish not just my Professional and Technical Writing degree, but also to obtain a second Bachelor's degree in American Studies, where my true passion is. I am a ongoing student of American history and creative writing and I hope to someday combine both interests and write historical fiction novels for young adults.

At the moment, my opportunities to sit down and get lost in the sound of my fingers typing are few and far between. One of the major blessings of obtaining this scholarship was that it allowed me to graduate from USU without any student debt. Because of this, I have been able to live my dream of being a stay-at-home mom. If I was carrying the burden of student debt, I wouldn't be able to spend my days as I do with my three children. My oldest daughter, who was born a few months after I graduated, has recently started kindergarten. She and I like to read together at night, and some of our favorite books have been about girls throughout history.

Although there are days that I long for more time to write, I understand that there are seasons in our lives. In no way do I feel that I am wasting this season of my life--I am exactly where I want to be! That said, I very much look forward to the day when I can send my children to school and spend my days writing. Until then, I try and keep my skills sharp by editing term papers, resumes, personal statements, and advertising flyers for family members and friends, keeping a family blog, writing personal essays, and jotting down ideas for children's books on whatever scrap of paper is handy! When I was at Utah State, my mother read one of my personal essays and made the comment that my writing would take me many places, but in the end it would always bring me back home. As I've spent the past nearly six years at home, I realize that home is the best place for me to live my dreams.

Thank you for your generosity, which has helped me in my path as a writer, mother, student, and historian.

Sincerely, Marinda Burningham Fowler

Utah State University 2011

On the days when I might wonder what my college education was worth, this is what I want to remember. I may not have my name in print or get a bi-monthly paycheck at my dream job, but I am where I want to be. The skills that I spent five years in college developing sneak into my current life in the most curious ways: helping my husband plan the MBA data analytics course he will soon be teaching. Editing a dear high school friend's personal statement so she can apply to medical school. Giving my little brother tips on the online advertising campaign he is creating. Planning Sunday school lessons twice a month. Participating in monthly book club meetings. Keeping up with current events. Teaching my son's joy school class every five weeks. Giving suggestions on nonfiction books for a neighbor kid's upcoming book report. Helping my nephews with their History Fair entries. Teaching my daughter how vowels work as she learns to sound out words. Doing family history research. Creating a record of our family, here and now. Gleefully searching through tubs of  Scott's grandmother's old books with my mother-in-law.  Problem-solving with my children. Planning our future.

And so many other ways.