The Happiest I've Ever Been

On Monday night, we stopped by my Aunt's house to visit for a minute (our last-ditch effort at a FHE, as other things went down that day that I will probably write about soon). As Kevin chased my cousin's little boy across Aunt Claudia's front lawn, we stood and visited for a long while. The air outside was perfect: fresh, not too hot, not too cold, and blowing gently. Kevin found their lush green lawn so soft that she kept falling and face-planting in it on purpose.

Somewhere in all of this relaxing chatting, Aunt Claudia mentioned something that caught me off-guard. I'm not sure why. We were talking about how I get to stay home with Kevin, and how grateful I am to be able to do that, when Aunt Claudia mentioned that my mom had told her this was the happiest she'd ever seen me.

Now, if your mom says something like that, it is probably true.

So I thought about it for a minute, and I realized, it is true!

I have never been so happy.

Oh sure, we have our hard days and our rough patches (we feel like we have been in a war against teething for almost a year straight now), those times when I want to pull my hair out and the times when I wonder how anybody can handle more than one child because the one I have takes me to my limit at least once or twice a week (sometimes once or twice a day). But then there are also those beautiful, little moments, like when she brings me her blanket and finds her binky and just wants to cuddle for a minute before she takes a nap, or how she will climb on to my lap so I can read her a story, or how sometimes she'll come running at me out of the blue just because she needs to give me a kiss right that second. 

Yes, I think. This is the happiest I've ever been. 

Before we got engaged (it may have even been the Sunday I gave my "homecoming" talk after finishing my mission, I'm not sure), Scott and I went on a Sunday walk through some neighborhoods by my parents home. The air was much the same as it was at Aunt Claudia's the other night, only the fragrance was of fresh-cut hay and alfalfa. I asked Scott about his goals and dreams. At the forefront was the fact that he wanted to make sure his wife was able to stay home with the kids and didn't have to work outside the home unless she wanted to. It is so important to him to make it possible for his kids to have a full-time mom. We have been blessed to be able to make this a quick reality. It is our goal for me to be able to be home all the time, to not have to work to support us, even though at times it makes things like getting into a home or going on ritzy vacations or wearing up-to-date and stylish clothing much more difficult. 

Some women out there probably don't think being at home with their kids all day sounds very appealing--I know, I can understand that. Some women want to work, need to work--it keeps them sane. It is, after all, what they went to school for. I know many of these women. I respect them and admire them for the way they work so hard to balance a career and being a parent to their child(ren). I kind of thought I would be a woman like that, who goes crazy "only" being at home all day, which brings me to blessing number two: I am more than content to "just" be at home "all day." I am not prone to cabin fever. I don't mind not leaving the house until the evening or sometimes not at all during the day. Perhaps that is why Heavenly Father blessed me with a daughter who lives for go,go,going (in fact, she learned to say "go" last week--and "no" which is a whole different story!). She loves to be outside, to explore new places, to see people. And I am okay with that, because at least once a day, her stir-craziness is what ensures that I get cleaned up for the day and venture outside. 

Yup, me being at home makes me happy--and it makes my family happy too. 

I have never had a job I absolutely loved. Even with the jobs I didn't mind--like being an EFY counselor and a writing tutor and running youth conferences at USU--there were always days that I woke up and just didn't want to do it. I never felt 100% passionate about what I was doing--90% or 95% maybe, but the jobs never felt 100% right. 

This job, being Kevin's Mommy, it feels 110% right. 

You were right, Mom.

This really is the happiest I've ever been.